I was raised by a quintessential party planner and thrower. My mom had a good nature due to her mid-Western roots (she was raised in Indiana) and I think that good nature translated into loving to entertain. We had a small kitchen in our loft (where I lived in Paterson…more on that some day), but she made amazing use of it. She had a phase where she would take these immersive cooking classes. If she didn’t want to get a sitter for me, she would have me come with her. I was considered a good kid: I knew how to sit and get out of the way, or I would find a way to make myself useful. As a result, we would have dinner parties with various cuisine themes: Indian Food, Chinese Food, Szechuan, and Thai. All on the good china (something we used a lot, in hindsight), with proper silverware and glassware. Each time.
Then there were the regular parties. As a Professor of Theater at WPU, she was known for two things: being “cool”, yet outspoken (she didn’t mince words) and her “epic” cast parties at the end of each of the shows she directed. She also loved to throw regular dinner parties and have people over. She wanted me to be exposed to different people: colleagues, other professors, of course all of her students but mostly? She wanted me to learn the art of hosting. I was her co-host as soon as I was able to carry a tray from the kitchen to the living room. Mom was charming. I inherited her good nature around the idea of hosting and having company over. We would share in planning all of our parties as I got older; I would help with table settings and we really loved having people over. My fondest memories with my mom will always be associated with our beach house in Ocean Grove. We had so many fun parties and get togethers.
Anyone who knows me well will tell you — I love a good party! I love a fun night out, a time to be with friends and unwind. I love being social and having a few cocktails is always fun! Shit, I was born into this life.
Until it’s not.
Once I started treatment for cancer I removed any and all alcohol from my life. I have had about 3 drinks since then, and I have to say? I don’t miss it.
What’s crazy is when you stop drinking, you start “seeing alcohol”. By “seeing alcohol” I mean seeing how accepted alcohol is. How normal it is to just go out and have a drink with friends! I can’t say how my relationship with alcohol will change. I just know that of all the small drinks I have had in the few weeks, I didn’t feel the need for more than one. And you know what? That’s ok. My parties will still be great, with or without my being a fellow imbiber.
